A supershort story: Cellphone Day
This supershort story is inspired by a courier that dropped by Squeaky’s office. He had the loudest walkie-talkie phone that pretty much blared inconsequential conversation throughout the whole office. No sorry, nothing. What a piece of work. So here it is, my supershort story for all of you inconsiderate people out there:
“So how’re you doing?”
“Yeah, nothing, really…”
“So what are you up to?”
“Oh, nothing?”
“Oh yeah, me too.”
“Yeah, I’m just on the bus, you know, going to work…”
“So, are you doing anything tonight?”
“No?”
”Me too.”
“Alrighty then… I’ll see you at work.”
He shuts his cell phone and put it in his coat pocket. He turns his face to me and smiles. “Sorry. Work stuff, ya know.”
I look at him and I want to say, “What on earth would you think I give a shit about your conversation? I just want you to shut the fuck up and not bother me on my way to work, you asshole!”
But I just shrug and turn my attention back to the book I’m reading. Tried to read, anyway. Because when someone is shooting his mouth off on some petty bullshit just to fill the void in his head and knows nothing about common courtesy, I can’t turn my hearing off. I wish I could just shoot them. What would that feel? I can see the headline now. “Woman Charged In Man-On-Cellphone Death. Lawyer Files For Temporary Insanity Defense Caused By Lack Of Manner.” Now that’s a headline.
This actually makes me smile. Today is going to be a good day for killing someone.
The End.