A Nation of Protruding Nails
I was reading Eric Weiner‘s The Geography of Bliss this weekend and I came upon a paragraph that I found very interesting. It’s about what social scientists call “cultural fit,” basically whether you fit into a culture, a country or a place, and it should explain a lot about happiness.
Like people, each culture has its own personality. Some cultures, for instance, are collectivist; other are individualistic. Collectivist cultures, like Japan and other Confucian nations, value social harmony more than any one person’s happiness. Individualistic cultures, like the United states, value personal satisfaction more than communal harmony. That’s why the Japanese have a well-known expression: “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.” In America, the nail that sticks out gets a promotion or a shot at American Idol. We are a nation of protruding nails.
I came from an Asian nation that, although not Confucian, does embrace a collectivist culture. Certainly not in a level that the real Confucian nations adhere to. We are expected to do certain things certain ways for the greater good. (I still don’t know what does group calisthenics every morning in grade school add to the greater good.) You don’t try just for the sake of trying. You try to succeed. You have to succeed because close doesn’t count. Your family (community) relied on you to be a success. I fit fine there. I was happy even though I was a protruding nail. I was the high-school reporter who crashed press conferences, sneaked into concerts to take photos to sell to my friends (yes, I was a paparazzi before I knew the word existed). And yet, I was rewarded with job offers from top glossy magazines and music promoters.
Then I came to the US because I had this hunger for more education, more knowledge. I ended up in a very competitive graduate school and had to learn the American way of being the best. I was worried at first but to be honest, in America, it’s a cushioned fall if you fail, full of encouragement from everyone. School was easy. Teaching was lovely. Then work comes, and then the right company comes, and I love it. So it looks like being in individualistic culture fit me fine. I can handle the envy. I guess I’m always a protruding nail and I fit right in. (In NY City, that is. I tried Portland, Maine, and I had to get out as quickly as possible.)
But everywhere I turn these days, I hear begrudging everywhere: Unemployment at an all-time high, housing market still slumping, Euro in a dive because of Greece with Spain & Portugal following suit… Yeah, the economy sucks, bonuses should be non-existent and people should begrudge. But most people begrudge regardless. We’re turning into a bunch of whining, individualistic babies.
Look in the mirror and stop whining. Individualistic culture without a dash of collectivism makes us run empty and is bound to hit us in the face. It’s what’s ruining the economy and hurting the hell out of corporations. What about some altruism?
Maybe some nails need to be hammered down because they are accidents waiting to happen. Quit whining and let’s drive ourselves out of this slump. And maybe then you’ll be happy.